'Tis the season...

'Tis the season for crafting, baking, and giving! Christmas is my favorite holiday for those three reasons. Even as a selfish teenager, I still enjoyed doing all those things just as much as receiving gifts. These three reasons are also why Christmas can be aggravating for me.

As you all know, I have 4 daughters and you would assume that they would enjoy taking part in some of my favorite things. This is so far from the truth that it cannot get much further. My children have never enjoyed crafting or baking. They enjoy the time they get to spend with me, but not the act. This shows in how little they take pride in their work. Over the years I have had to learn to try to overlook this "fault" (I use that term loosely because my children are perfect in their own individual ways, but my obsession with pride causes me to believe not taking pride to be a fault). I have to constantly tell them that it is okay to make mistakes, but not okay to purposefully not care about the end result of things. Now that my three eldest are teenagers or tweens, I am having more difficulty in finding things to do with them. Kailah seems to enjoy watching cartoons (the weird ones that I do not understand at all) and playing her flute. Kairah seems to enjoy sleeping and "momming" everyone. Kaijah seems to enjoy being annoying. What is a mom supposed to do with this? If I try to do crafts with them, knowing full well they do not enjoy them, I get a kid that rushes to get back to cartoons, a kid that tells everyone what to do, and one that just annoys the crap outta everyone. LOL (I seriously laughed when I wrote that last sentence). Baking with my kids is a joke too. They refuse to follow recipes and anyone that bakes knows, you have to follow a recipe; its a science. The crafting and baking is only the beginning.

(L) Lew made me a Christmas decoration w. everyone's picture (R) Kairah made Lew a holder for his name tag etc. 

My biggest frustration during Christmas is the giving part. I have two children who are giving when they are told to be giving and one that is as selfish as one can possibly be. I do not say that to sound mean. My oldest has always been self-centered. It is just in her nature. (Yes I believe that nature always beats out nurture, how else do you explain successful people with crappy parents, or crappy people with wonderful parents) She would have been the best only child ever. This year, I think I have finally given up on trying to force her to being selflessly giving. Three years ago, we decided (mostly due to the economy issues) that we would change how we did gift giving. We started doing "secret Santa" among their cousins and within our family. Each one of my children pulled a cousin's name to buy/make a gift and we all picked a name for our immediate family. This year we added making or baking things for our extended family and friends. Everyone participates, even if they are reluctant. This year, Kailah has been expressly defiant. So, I grew tired of fighting with her and did not coerce her to make anything. Our boxes have one less baked good and I made her cousin gift. More than likely I will make her family gift also.

(L) I made an applique for Kailah's shirt (R) Kailah decorated suspenders for Kairah

I know some might disagree with me about not forcing her to participate, but people she is 14 and this is not life or death. She will have to live with the "guilt" or not. I have made a parental decision to make peace with my child's personality trait and hope that one day some great thing will happen to change it. Until then I chose to love her the way she is. Maybe this is my way of giving to her. This is what anyone wants right? To be loved and accepted for who you are no matter what. It freaked her out that I was not mad about making the gift. I told her that I was disappointed that she put her wants before someone else, but I have accepted it.

(L) Charlie decorated a bookmark for Kaijah (R) Kaijah made a pillow for Charlie (Kaijah and her silly faces;)

So instead I chose to live by this statement this year "'tis the season for unconditional love and acceptance."