My Journey-Open Letter to My Friends

I am 35 and I have moved at least 25 times in my lifetime. Only about 12 of those times were during my military career. I had switched schools 15 times when I was a youth. I was in the social services system for a total of about 18 months off and on. The longest I ever lived in one house was 5 years. The shortest time I have lived in one house was 4 months. I have lived in 7 states, 3 countries, and 10+ cities. So, it would be a fair assessment that it has been difficult to make and maintain friends. I learned early on to move on with my life in every way. That does not mean that the friends I did make during all of those "stays" are not near and dear to me. Some of those friends I have reconnected with on Facebook in a surface type friendship, others I cannot find, and some I am trying to be a better friend to right now. I decided to write an open letter to all of my friends and hope that through the 'net it will reach many of them.

Dear Friend,

     I want to thank you for being my rock, my sanity, my laughter, and my therapist for the time we were friends. I think it is safe to say that you may have made more of an impact on my life than I did yours and I truly thank you for standing by my side through my drama filled life. Whether you were my friend because I was the new girl in school, new to a group home, new to a neighborhood or duty station, newly a single parent, newlywed, the weird kid, the weird adult, or whatever else helped you decide to be my friend, I am so appreciative. You saw past all of my flaws and quirks. You didn't care what others thought of me. You saw through to my heart that I hide from the world. You were my friend even if I did not give you the same friendship in return. 

     I want to apologize for not being a better friend to you and that we have lost contact over the years. I think of you often and wonder how I could have been a better friend to you and remained friends after our time together had ended. I sometimes think that maybe I should send you a message or call if I can find you, but I am afraid you will reject me because I let you down. How selfish am I to not reach out to you? You were not afraid to reach out to me when I needed you. 

     I posted on Facebook the other day that I am thankful for social media because it allows me to see how life is for some of my friends that I have lost true contact with. Social media pales in comparison to a real relationship with someone. I miss you, my friend from the past and I want you back in my life. I may not be able to call you every morning over coffee, but I still want to be your friend. I do not want to just see your photos and posts on social media. I want to hear about these things from you. I want to visit you if I am in your neighborhood. I want you to visit me if you are in my neighborhood. I want you to call me if you need to spill news (good or bad), vent or cry.

     My life has been a hot mess from the beginning and I could not have made it through any of those challenges without my friends. Whether we become friends again or not I still want you, my dear friend, to know that I love you, miss you, and wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Christina