Okay, I am going to admit it. I am what some would consider a "helicopter parent." I did not realize how much so until my 14 year old started home-school.
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Helicopter Parent: a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children (Oxford Online Dictionary)
For the last 4 days I have been sitting with her, preparing her lessons for her, planning her schedule, and overly scrutinizing her work. She started home/virtual school 4 weeks ago. Her over all grade is passing, but she is having to redo assignments and is falling behind. So, I thought about how I could avoid a power struggle with her and get her through this so she can be with classroom teachers again.
It has still been a struggle for her, but setting her schedule has given her something to focus on and a goal to reach by the end of the night. Some nights she does not reach those goals and she has to suffer sitting at the table for 12 hours and then see those assignments roll over to the next day. This is going to be a hard year for the both of us, but I think having me sit with her when I am home makes her feel not so alone in this tough time.
My biggest struggle with all of this is my hurt feelings. I do not feel appreciated and sometimes she can be hurtful. During those moments I leave her alone and she eventually comes around to ask for help.
I know that some might feel that I am hurting her chances of being a productive adult. <-- Who decided giving a crap about your kids is "hurting" them? I have a duty to get her through school and graduated. I wish I had someone who gave a damn when I was struggling in life and with school ALL THE TIME. She can deal with the real world when it comes for her (and even then I will be there to support her). When I start back to school she will not have me here all day, so that will be the next step in taking control of her schooling. Some children are ready to take the reins at earlier ages than others.
This fear of screwing her up has really affected me. In this day in age of instant information, I am constantly reading articles about it. That is why I decided to write this blog post. I wanted to admit to going against society and doing what I think is best for my child in the hopes that another parent that is beating themselves up will read it.
I am actually tired of everyone else telling me how to parent my child. Advice is good, but threatening me or shoving it down my throat is not okay. Everything I do for my children is from my heart. I have refused prescriptions and then threatened by a doctor. I have been investigated by social services 3 times because a neighbor did not agree with any part of my life. I have been told I was a crude/terrible/bad/etc. parent. I have been judged for my beliefs and what information I share with my children.
I have also received excellent advice and loving support from so many people. Those are the people I go back to and keep in my life. If you are a parent pat your self on the back. If you are a parent of a "difficult" child give your self an extra big hug.
For my children reading this: I will be there for you no matter what! Will I rescue you every time no, but when I think you need me I will save the day. I will stalk you! Yes I said it. When you are on a date at the movies, I will most likely be 5 rows back (remember I like those lame teen movies too). When you have your first kiss on the porch, I will be looking out the window. When I see you struggling in school, I will start taking over and get you through it. I will always watch over you!!! (every move you make, every step you take, I'll be watching you <--- such a creepy song, but it popped in my head lol)
I'll get off my soap box now :D
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