My Journey - Fitting In

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else 

is the greatest accomplishment. -Ralph Waldo Emmerson 

Earlier this week I read a post on Facebook from a recently divorcing friend. She asked how can she fit in with single people that do not have children or married people that do. Surely this was meant to just be a rhetorical question, but it got me to thinking about just that: fitting in. I have struggled with fitting in my entire life, as I am sure others have too. I wonder if we are even meant to fit in and why we have to.

I have seen others who seem to fit in with a group of people and wonder how they do it. Are they being honest with who they are? Or, are they just doing their best to fit into the "mold" they think they are supposed to fit into? I have tried pretending to be something I am not and it is really hard. I guess that type of behavior is perfect for first meetings and functions where you only have to be around people for a short time. But what do you do when you are going to be in the presence of certain people for longer periods of time or multiple times?

What baffles me is that as a people we want honesty, but we cannot accept others for who they are. Why do I need to be this perfect military spouse to fit in with other military spouses? Why do I have to be a certain kind of mom to fit in with other moms? Why do I have to have a certain belief system for you to be my friend? Why is it assumed that I think or feel a certain way based on my demographics?

I truly value those people that have come into my life that I can be completely and honestly be myself with. Those people that after they realize I am different then they are, they do not run away or bad mouth me to others. Those people that value my differences and embrace what I have to offer.

And to be truly honest I struggle with accepting others sometimes because I have been hurt and have my own preconceived notions that I have to battle. My goal when I meet people is to stay open minded and judge them by how they treat me and others. If they are a good person, then they are alright with me. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round and who wants to be friends with clones of themselves. What kind of fun would that be?