Introducing: My Family

What's up! It has been a loooooooonnnnnnggggg couple of weeks for me filled with running my children from activity to activity, canning over 750lbs of peaches with a local canning club, organizing my life and thoughts...the list just goes on and on.

With that being said, this blog post will be a little different. I finally got the hubster to read my blog and he insinuated that it was lame to not use our names. So without further ado, I would like to introduce myself and my family.

Clockwise - Hawaii, pretending to sleep, I love eating, my boyfriend, sleepin'

I am Christina. I am old and mom of four. I had an interesting childhood that created this weird, cooky, crazy person that I am. I served eleven and a half years in the United States Air Force (practically right out of High School). I was stationed in Nebraska, New Mexico, and Japan before moving to my last base in Florida. I served almost six month in Iraq during my enlistment. After marrying my third husband (yes I said third, which was my fourth marriage) I finally had someone who supported me no matter what, so I separated (for various reasons that just kept adding up). I attempted to get a few part time jobs (because I wanted to be with my children more) and failed, so off to college I went (because I got paid to go to school, thanks GI Bill). I was a horrible student when I was a child/teenager, but boy did I excel at it now. So, I am a mother, military spouse, and college student.

Clockwise - date night, Hawaiian shirt love, working in the yard

This is my husband Lew (of which he is 7 years younger than me, so not quite old yet). We met in 2005 at Misawa AB in the Enlisted Club (I know, I know, you are not supposed to find a husband in the club, but I did...woot woot). It has been a fun and interesting ride with him for almost five years of marriage and seven years together (nothing like my past relationships, thank goodness). He is in the Air Force (joined out of High School when he was only 17) and has been stationed in Korea, Japan, Turkey, and Florida. He has been deployed twice. I am thankful that his job does not deploy very much. He loves to play football (I have been nagging at him since we moved here to play again, I love watching). He is so loving and giving (I hope he reads this blog since all he thinks I do not have nice things to say about him :P) and a wonderful father to our 4 beautiful daughters (he chose to be a father to my older three, a big challenge for any man).

yes you can take my picture, no! don't take my picture

This is my oldest daughter Kailah and the only one I ever gave a pet name to (Kailah Bear - she hates it). She is 13 years old and by far the most challenging child that I have which is not always a bad thing. I would be extremely bored and complacent if it was not for her making me use my brain to parent her. Anyhow, her favorite colors are pink and black. I made the mistake one year of thinking that was the only colors she liked and everything I bought her was pink and black. She finally corrected me....lol. She has been playing the flute for a year and has expressed interest in learning how to do tumbling, so she can be a cheerleader in high school (compete shock to me :-O). She will be starting cheernastics (that is what they call this new tumbling only class) in the fall. She is extremely smart and I wish should would use it for good more than evil at times. She is a wonderful writer and artist. According to her pins on pinterest, she seems to want to be a crafter, clothes designer, hairdresser, nail tech, and comedian also. She is not very social, but when she does hold a conversation with someone it is either very intelligent and well thought out or completely goofy and silly.  She reminds me so much of myself at times. It is hard to show her that I love her, but I try everyday.

releasing our butterflies, tennis, ladder ball w/ Highway 98 Country Music station

This is Kairah, my second oldest. She is 12 years old. This is my little helper (although it is a good thing most of the time, it can get a little challenging when she tries to parent her siblings). She is very athletic and I push her to be better and she fights me on it all the time. She has participated in cheerleading, dance, football (flag and tackle) and soccer. I think she finally decided to play soccer "forever" now. She has played the clarinet for a year. She loves to be goofy and silly. She is a great big sister and babysitter to my youngest when she sets her mind to it (or to purpose as they would have said in ancient times...lol...I could not help myself). Out of my three oldest, she gets along best with her stepfather (or Dad as they call him). She has never been skiddish around much. She will get dirty helping in the yard, kill a spider in the house if needed, save a lizzard from her dog (Champ)...you name it. She will try almost anything.

loving Twister, meditating in-front of her scene she made

This is Kaijah, my third oldest or second to last youngest, however you want to look at it. She is 10 years old.  She was my baby for 8 years and she will never let me forget it. She refuses to grow up which is quite refreshing to me in this society where kids grow up too fast. I have not quite figured out her personality yet (probably because she refuses to grow-up and chose). She recently had to deal with her cat passing away. I am so proud of how mature she has handled this whole thing. She "adopted" her cat from my ex-sister-in-law after my deployment. Kaijah stayed with her while I was gone and fell in love with the cat and brought him along when we moved to Florida. She focuses all her time on playing and Girl Scouts. She is a great student, although 4th grade was hard for her, but I know she will be back on top next year.

"I'm pretty", reading at the library, riding the bus like a big girl

This is Charlie, my youngest. She is 2 years old (almost 3). After being married a year, my husband and I decided to have one last child before I got old (ha ha ha). Raising my youngest daughter has been interesting and challenging. It is my first time being a stay at home mom. She is so smart and loves to read, put puzzles together, and play outside. A regular kid, AWESOME! She is also very grown for her age in her thought process. She has to understand everything before she will do it. Her best friends are Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goody, Clairabel, Pete, The Octonauts, The Pirate Band, Annie, and June. She has learned everything she knows from Disney Jr. (so nnnmmmm :P to those who think TV is bad for kids).

On one final note, here are our new guests at our house:

Momma bird made an amazing nest in the fold of our umbrella outside. There are four of them, although you can only see 2.

Week 2 - Kids on Campus

DD2 (Tennis, Guitar, Mad Scientist), DD3 (Technical Theater, Guitar, Cartooning with Watercolor), DD1 (Mad Scientist, Bubbles & Slime, Jewelry Making), DD4

Welcome to another installment of "I spend too much time with my kids". :P

That above statement came from a conversation I had with a friend about how much time I spend with my kids and how much time parents spent with their children when I was a child. Interestingly enough, I believe I spend 50 times more time.  I am also waiting for the age when my kids decide that I am not cool enough to hang out with (I thought it was 10, 11, 12, 13ish). I guess I am just too cool to be uncool.

Anyhow, our week was super busy. This was the first week of Kids on Campus. Basically what this means is I had to find ways to entertain my toddler in another a city while my school age children went to fun learning experiences.

Monday

After getting the older girls all checked in for their classes, DD4 and I headed to Turkey Creek. It was interesting watching DD4 while we walked down the path. Her level of smarts is extremely high and I give all the credit to Mickey Mouse and his friends, The Little Einsteins, and The Octonauts. She amazed me with knowing the difference between left & right (of which some people in the military still have issues with this...not saying any names ;D) and her imagination. "Oh no! It's a hill!" or "Duck mommy" (when there was something above our head) were her favorite things to say.  We took frequent breaks and walked rather slow. Most folks that were there were exercising, so we were passed by quite often. At every opportunity I asked DD4 if she would like to put her feet in the water (we did not have swim suits - soooo not prepared). She would reply "no" every time. Finally, I was hot so I put my feet in the water. She freaked out. "No mommy, no!," rang out repeatedly. After I was done, can you guess what I hear? "My feet are hot" So we both walked back down the steps and put our feet in for a while. When we got to the end I finally convinced DD4 to get in the water. Unfortunately the water level was up to my knees, so it was up to her waist at least. It must be great to be a toddler, she got in in her underwear. It was a blast hearing her tell me about the sand, leaves, and fish. It was a long walk back. DD4 was tired and I carried her half the way back or more, on my back, shoulders and any other way I could carry her. It was so much fun and DD4 found out that she likes riding on mommy's shoulders. I quite frequently get asked to carry her "on my head" now-a-days.

running in, taking a break, mom's feet are hot, DD4's feet are hot, cooling off, turtle

After picking up the older girls from Kids on Campus we had a delicious lunch at Joey's Tomatoes. I was surprised to find labeled gluten free menu items. It is a small cafe and the food was yummy. My kinda place!

Tuesday

This morning was a beast. I could not get these kids out the door on time to save my life. We got to Kids on Campus and the girls were complaining to me about the lady yelling at them that they were late. I just said "you decided to leave late, not me." They did not like my answer....lol.  I decided that an inside activity was a good idea for DD4 and I. I decided to go to my most favorite library, The Valparaiso Library.  Here is a little background on how I discovered this gem:
     My first semester of college I took an American History Class with the best history teacher ever. He just so happened to be the manager of the ValP Library.  The fact that I was as big as a house (pregnant with DD4) and sat in the front gave great opportunity to make conversation with my teacher. He learned that I had 3 other children. Before the summer began, he repeatedly told me about how his library has lots for kids to do.  We went that summer (4 summers ago) and continued to go until moving to Navarre became a hindrance. I even took neighborhood children quite often. Every year the library programs just got better between their preschool programs, school age programs, teen programs, movies, and adult classes.
Anyhow, DD4 and I picked a great day to go. It was one of the three days that they provide a pre-school program. While we waited for the class to start we tried out the new Tag Reading System they have and colored. During the program DD4 decided that she really liked one of the books that the teacher had picked to read. She did not want to give it back. We did crafts and played. It was so much fun.

Tag Reading System, Coloring, Stolen Book, Still Reading Stolen Book, Crafting, Mom demonstrating said Craft

DD4 loves the colorful cushions.

 Oh, I forgot to mention, DD4 wanted to be a princess today. It was fun getting her dressed and doing her hair. She also reminded me (like she does every morning) "my toilet broken....daddy fix it....he get home."  It cracks me up every time. She has been saying this for about 2 weeks now. I think she misses her own potty.
This is one of the busy busy days for the week. DD1 also had Summer Reading Program, so after eating our packed lunch at the campus we headed to Hurlburt Field. The rest of us just hung out in the library reading and playing on the computer.



I was so exhausted after all this, but I still had work to do....that's right, Tuesday is my "office" day. Made a menu and grocery list. I was so tired that all I put on the menu for dinner was grilled chicken salad all week.

Wednesday

 Another busy day! We actually made it to Kids on Campus on time. I guess the girls did not like getting yelled at. On this day, I was well prepared for my outing with DD4. I researched the Niceville Children's Park. I made sure that DD4 had a bathing suit and towel. I was so excited about this park, but did not realize how awesome it was until we got there.

The park is large, clean and has plenty of choices. DD4 played on everything but the pink car while we waited for the splash pad to open. It amazed me how fearless she was climbing the rock wall. I was a little sad that she did not interact with other children, but what can I really do about that? The splash pad opened and off we went to the water. I thought for sure that DD4 would play in the water this time. It was hot! But noooo-ooooo, she wanted to sit around and watch. I even walked around with her, she was not having any of this crazy water play. We went back out to the playground and found a snow cone vendor....yum! We played a little more and when it was time to leave she did not want to go. That tells me this was a successful trip :D

After have our packed lunch at the campus, we headed for Hurlburt again for DD2&3's Summer Reading Program and some grocery shopping. The afternoon went rather well, but we were all extremely tired and I had just enough energy to put together 7 packets of marinaded chicken.

Thursday

Another day at Kids on Campus for the older girls.

DD4 and I went to the Destin Bridge. I have never been to the beach by the bridge, so I said "why not?" It was a little bit of a drive, but we had 3 hours to kill. It was a decent time. It probably would have been better had I wore a bathing suit. We played in the sand and watched fish swimming. There was the cutest little boy that brought his stuffed giraffe.  Apparently the giraffe wanted to swim and swim he did. It was so funny watching the dad try to stop this little one year old from taking his "friend" in the water.
We had a great view and now I want to get a boat and go to Crab Island where it seems all the fun happens :D .



We ate lunch at the campus cafeteria. It was decent fare, but a little pricey. After, we went to the ValP. Library for the family movie. Things sure have changed since the last time I went to a movie there. They now have a projector and screen plus lots of snacks, all for FREE. Awesome! DD4 ran around playing and reading books, so everyone was happy and entertained.

The rest of the afternoon we spent at home checking on the garden and playing. DD4 decided to "go catch gooey fish" with her bamboo pole and string (apparently I need a pond now too according to DD4) while DD2 and I tried to fix the bird eating our tomatoes problem. We researched and discovered that all we had to combat the birds were plastic grocery bags. According to one website, the noise scares the birds away. We clipped some bags to the bamboo poles next to my tomatoes.

Friday

I declared Friday to be Movie Marathon in our PJs Day! We each picked out a movie to watch and just kept playing them.

I did think that I would be able to sleep in, but the children who refused to get up early Monday through Thursday decided that Friday would be the day to get up early. DD2 made her dessert for the week: gluten free brownies. I had a lovely afternoon out with some friends. We went to lunch and got some nice freebies from Old Navy just for trying on some clothes.

Lets talk a little bit about my weekend also, why not!?

This weekend I realized I have a plant problem. I cannot seem to stop buying them. I am not sure if my husband has noticed, but we have two new plants thanks to my trip to the farmer's market Saturday, tarragon and lemongrass.

I had a great time at the movies with DD2. It was her special day with me. I did realize that there ARE some things that embarrass her. See below:

The beautiful glitter "make-up" DD4 gave me before heading to the movies. DD2 asked me to wipe it off while en-route.

 Sunday (today) has been a rough day. If this post seems a little off, it is because we are under a storm watch and my whole family has lost their minds from being cooped up in this house together all day. It has taken me almost the entire day to write this darn thing. So here I put this post out of its misery and say thanks for putting up with this mess of a post and good evening :D

Week In Review - Fairies, Butterflies, and Bees Day 2-5

The rest of this week was soooooo busy that I did not have time to write about it until now. Here goes:

Tuesday

After breakfast three of my girls worked on making caterpillar's made out of an egg carton. It was a simple craft, but even my older girls seemed to enjoy it. DD4 decided that painting her scrap paper under her egg carton was much more fun.

Then it was off to the lanes at Hurlburt Field to join the festivities of the awesome Hurlburt EFMP. I forgot how fun it was to spend some time with my family at the bowling alley. We did this a few times in Japan and the girls really loved it. I have yet to get DD4 to bowl, but she had a great time running around.

I even tied for first place the second game with my horrible bowling form. :D

 

After bowling, we went to the Hurlburt Spouse's Club Thrift Shop to find items for our fairy garden. Then, I took DD1 to the Hurlburt Library summer reading program for teens. Their theme is Hunger Games. She seems to like it and I am so happy. 

While we waited for her we went to the Base Exchange to get some things for our garden. I was researching why the leaves of my plants were yellow and why my plants seem so small. I found some awesome information about Epsom salt and iron supplements. I thought might as well try it and bought some. I also found some rooting hormone for a nice price and figured why not try out growing some new rosemary bushes from my huge bush on the side of the house. It did not take long to get what I needed, so I sat down and watch DD4 play with all the toys....what cheap entertainment for a toddler and she did not even make a mess.

We also had some fun playing at the Library's outdoor classroom area as always. 

After all this fun, I still had my Tuesday business to take care: menu, grocery list, coupon clipping, budget, bills, banking etc. Tuesday is my "office" day. I "follow" the flylady ideals for getting things done as much as possible. It really helps having this business day so I am prepared for grocery shopping and errands the next day.

Wednesday

This is usually my busy day no matter what because it is the day I do my grocery shopping and errands. We did not have time to craft today because everyone was so slow getting ready, but no one seemed to mind. I had an appointment in the morning and the girls were really great while waiting for me. 

Afterwards, we visited a friend at Elements of Divine Wisdom and went to Uptown Station Park for a picnic lunch. I was very pleased to hear that my DD2 loves when we pack a lunch much more than grabbing fast food. (BTW today is one of those beautiful Florida days that I wish I had a working laptop so I could blog outside)

DD3 won this shirt for having the fastest cardboard sail boat.

After the park it was time to take DD2&3 to their summer reading program at the Hurlburt Field Library. This was a great time to get my grocery shopping done. I only had two children to keep in check while doing my shopping and things went swimmingly.

DD4 let me take a picture of her with her baby watermelon.

That night we worked in the garden a bit and DD4 decided it was time to pluck a watermelon. She said "got it mommy" to which I replied "oh no!" to which she responded with loud sobbing.  I felt so bad. I hugged her and told her it was okay. I tried to explain to her why she needed to wait next time. I hope she gets it because last year we had no tomatoes because she kept pulling them off the plant too early (lol). I convinced her to let me cut it open and there was enough melon to get four bites.

Thursday

Thursday was full of fun crafts. We first worked on coffee filter butterflies. DD4 sure does love to not do the offered craft. This time she decided that coloring on the newspaper under her craft was way more entertaining.  If you look close enough in the photos you might notice that my older children decided to tattoo themselves with colored pencils and water. I guess this is one of the consequences of having a mother who loves getting tattoos. :D

Next, we worked on all natural bug repellent. (here are some links for information: Bug Spray 1, Bug Lotion, Bug Spray 2, Essential Oils that Repel Bugs, How To Blend Essential Oils ) I took information from all of these sites and created our bug repellent. I let my children pick three essential oils from the stock I have - 1 top note, 1 middle note, and 1 base note - and added the correct amount to their spray bottle. I had a master bottle that we now keep outside that I made myself.  We have not had the chance to test these out, but when we do I will report how they all did. 

Then, we worked on our fairy garden.

DD4 started working on this wonderful coloring page. I am so proud of how she stays in the lines already.

The rest of the day we were relaxing and I watched a cute movie, Monte Carlo, with my older girls.

Friday

This was a very unorganized day. We finished up the fairy garden and watched a movie, Stick It. 

I was frazzled by the end of the day. I guess most people would have been after two kids get glass in their foot at two different times and a crabby toddler. See my post about lunch breaks. (On a side note, lavender oil is the best antiseptic I have ever used)

Finished crafts:

The Necessity of a "Lunch Hour"

Yesterday I found myself stressed out and flustered and realized it was because I had been with my dear daughters pretty much non-stop for a week. I re-realized the need for a "lunch break". Here is the background on this not so new concept of mine.

When I was active duty I thought working through my lunch hour and never leaving my desk made me a better airman. Wow, was that so not true.  It may make you seem to be a hard dedicated worker, but all it really does is stress you out and make you a bad customer service representative. I would find myself angry and short with customers. I would work slower and dread even going to work.

One day I received a new supervisor and he explained to me the necessity of breaks. He explained that a person should not sit at their desk or work space all day and just push through. Get up often, talk to others for a few minutes, use the restroom, grab a snack and take your lunch break away from your work even if it is 30 minutes at a table outside.

This bit of superior knowledge helped me immensely. I was happier, more productive, and a better customer service person. I even felt better about going to work and was a happier person picking up my children from daycare.

So, yesterday I found myself trying to explain this concept to my 3 eldest daughters. I asked them to support my break at 4pm by taking care of themselves and their little sister. I let them know how much I needed this so I was not a crazy person to them or their father when he got home at 5pm. Sometimes my break would be cooking dinner with some music on by myself in the kitchen or napping if I had dinner in the slow cooker, but either way I needed it. I went over all the wonderful things I did with them throughout the day and asked if an hour to myself was too much to ask for...they agreed that it was not.

I hope that they will be understanding at 4pm from now on and give me this time. On another note, my husband is so wonderful. He gave up his night out last night for me. He allowed me to escape the house for some me time and as I type this I am home alone because my dear daughters took their father out and about today. On one hand I feel guilty for not being a part of the festivities, but on the other hand it seems a little selfish that I do not give my husband his own time with his daughters...right!? :D

Fairies, Butterflies, and Bees - Day 1

Today was technically the 4th day of summer vacation for my school age children, but to me it was the first day. I decided to only plan things week by week in case my children loose interest. My feelings get so hurt when they do not participate in things that I plan, like my DD1 did today. Another change to my approach is to be less rigid (like my military style) and try to be more of a mom/camp counselor. Today seemed to work rather well.

DD1 was supposed to help with breakfast and baking today, but she decided to sleep all day instead, TEENAGERS...geesh! Yes, it hurt my feelings and yes, I have been waiting forever to make gluten free mint cookies that are supposed to resemble a well known cookie that rhymes with shin splint. I decided to put my hurt feelings aside and took my DD3's offer to take her place and had a great time.  It was hard for me to not bark out orders and caught myself doing it a few times, but I took a deep breath and we made it through.

DD3 Making GFree Biscotti

We made cinnamon apple granola. This is the recipe I use for my inspiration:  Alton Brown's Granola Recipe . I make tons of substitutions to make it my own because it is really hard to screw up granola. We also made biscotti using this recipe: Gluten Free Goddess Anise Biscotti Recipe . I am not comfortable enough with gluten free baking just yet to start creating my own concoctions. These were delicious. We made an extra batch of dry ingredients to use at a later date. I hope these "double ups" as I call them will make things easier when our busy days start up again.

After breakfast clean up, it was time for a craft project. This week is themed: Fairies, Butterflies and Bees. I printed out a cute planning page for my kids to plan their own fairy garden. We are going to collect items throughout the week and finish things up at the end of the week.

DD2, DD3, & DD4 watching a movie

DD3 cooked lunch with me and we all watched a movie. It was so hard for all the girls to sit still at one time, but we made it through the movie and 30 minutes of an attempt at quiet reading time. This has to be the most frustrating part of my day. I NEED the quiet time and they do not understand that. When I worked I had a lunch hour when I could get away from people. I often went and tanned mostly so I could take a nap. :D


We started up snack and worked on some coffee syrups of which my girls also use them in their milk. Here are the recipes I found on pinterest: Chocolate Mint Syrup & Caramel Syrup . And if I could just be honest, I often substitute things if I am missing something in a recipe. I just try to use common sense when I do it.

Our afternoon craft seemed to be a hit. I had the girls make me candle holders because I am tired of looking at plain white tea-lights all over my patio. I no longer buy fancy candles to keep bugs away. Instead I buy plain tea-lights and a bottle of citronella essential oil. A few drops on each candle works like a charm. If you stop smelling the citronella, then add some more. I used food coloring in modge podge and let them go to town on some baby food jars that two of my dear friends were so nice to give me. I think the candle holders look like sea glass...so pretty.

As if all of that was not enough, I read some library books from our theme and we decided to do another craft before dinner. We made fairy dust. Ours has bird seed, glitter, and dried lavender. I surely hope the birds do not get sick from the glitter...oops. Then the girls wanted to make something to put their fairy dust in...out come the baby food jars and modge podge again. This time they attacked the jars with lots and lots of glitter.

 

Here are our finished projects:

 

I am going "TDY" (trip to Hawaii)

During my 11.5 years in the Air Force I was away from my children 3 times. Once to 7 level school for 2 weeks, once for an exercise in Alaska for 3 weeks, and my deployment in 2006 for almost 6 months.  Those were some of the toughest times for me. Soon I will be heading to Hawaii on my own and boy do I feel guilty. At least when I was in the Air Force it was a part of my job, but this is a family vacation that I do not get to take my family on and I am so sad.

So it is time for me to start preparing myself and my family for my deployment. I am so nervous to leave my children because as all us moms know, no one can be mom like we can. I do not want to make my husband feel like he is incompetent, but I also do not want my kids to feel confused when things are not going the way mom does it. I have been trying to decide how I want to handle this. Do I want to put specific instructions on a piece of paper for each day? Do I want to prepare meals and freeze them? I know if I do this, these things will probably be forgotten anyways.

Also, how do I prepare my children for my departure.  I have never left my toddler and I know how hard it is on my 10 year old when I leave. She was so upset when I was deployed that I ended up inheriting her new best friend, a cat, when I got back. I cannot tell them that this is my job. I have to be honest and say "this was meant to be a family vacation to see your cousin graduate from high school, but life got the better of our finances and now only mommy can go." I keep running scenarios in my head about how I am going to send them video messages in the morning and before bed and call them and send them photos the whole time, but in all honesty I am pretty sure that I am going to be having fun and could possibly forget a video or two. How do I deal with that guilt?

I am also planning in my head how much stuff I can fit in a small suitcase. I got quite a bit of stuff in my "ruck sack", so this should be a breeze, right?  I have to also remember I am trying to be cheap and pack food too, because Hawaii is EXPENSIVE. The closer it gets, the more stressed out I get and I just have to keep telling myself that it is too early to pack, even in my head.

Although I am stressed out about a trip to Hawaii and sharing my feelings, this in no way equates to what our military does everyday, leaving their families for months and years to fight for our country. I have a dear friend leaving soon and she has two little boys that will be missing her.

Thank you for your service. I salute you!

Are you talking about me?!

Warning! This is a mushy post!

Recently I inquired about a scholarship that I was not eligible for and in Christina fashion I questioned the "rightness" of that rule.  It turned out that this said rule was incorrect and I am eligible. It felt good to know that I am helping myself and others by this small change.  Then came the requirements. "I need what!?" - two letters from employers or teachers by the due date 3 weeks down the road.  If you know me, I am not one for keeping in touch with folks, which now I am seeing to be a flaw due to this application.

I emailed the only teacher that I knew would remember me since I used to also go to the library he ran.  I waited nervously for the reply.  As I waited my husband looked people up for me on the Air Force global address list (I hope this was legal).  I made sure to not give him any names of supervisors that I did not leave on good terms with or ones that my time with them was short lived.  I also did not want to bother former commanders, as they are probably either still commanders or even higher in the food chain and in my mind would be aggravated enough by this menial request to have my husband demoted. I know it sounds a little overboard.  I gave him a small list of 6. He came back with addresses for 5 of them.  I picked 2 to email, my last supervisor and my second to last first sergeant (although technically I did not work for him, but I considered him to be a part of my supervision staff since I did a lot of work for him). Then the waiting game began.

As I waited, I asked two friends to write me letters also.  One was from Girl Scouts and one was from a previous assignment.  They wrote awesome letters for me and it meant so much to me. Waiting....waiting....waiting...all this time I am thinking "who the heck would want to write me a letter? I am nothing special."  The first response came in from my teacher 2 or 3 days later.  I stared at the unopened email for at least a minute before opening it. I was so relieved when he said it would be done by Friday ("woo hoo!") and he had to locate the grade-book from way back.  That little nugget of information told me that he wanted to do the letter and did not just feel obligated. The second response came late at night last night.  Something told me to check my email while my husband was watching one of his annoying immature shows that rhymes with "Josh point toes."  I was once again re-leaved that my last supervisor remembered me after almost 4 years and was glad to write me a letter. Fast forward past my restless sleep to this morning...

This morning I opened the email from my supervisor with the letter attached.  I lost my breath reading it.  What he had to say about me made me feel so special.  It brought me back to the days of being in the Air Force and forced me to remember how much I helped people even if I had to stick my neck out.  On the rare occasion I would get a thank you, but I could always tell that I made a difference (tear).  I wondered where this feeling went when I left the service. I know it is said that parenting is an ungrateful job, but I cannot even see where I am making a difference. 

I told a friend of mine about this epiphany and how the letter moved me and then I guess she decided it was her turn to make me cry. Here is a little back story about me and this friend.  We worked together in a way and we could not stand each other.  I thought she was the rudest person, although I had never really talked to her much and I still do not know why she did not like me.  Well a mutual acquaintance confided in me as to why this person was so unhappy and asked if I would give her a chance.  Well this acquaintance should have been a match maker because my friend and I needed each other at that moment and for the rest of our lives.  We were both going through similar things and helped each other become confident and strong.  We do not always talk to each other, but I know if I ever need her she would be there and vice-versa.  Any-who....today she decided to tell me how awesome I am and how I affected her life and the tears came poring out.  I will forever be grate for this friend for her help in the past, her knowing what I need when I need it, and for just being the awesome person she is.

So for anyone reading this, just because your life is different for what ever reason it does not mean you are any less of a necessity to the world.  Your purpose may have changed; you just need to find it. (now I sound like a certain person on a show that rhymes with "Kev and Futon" lol)