Dating - Wait! Not So Fast...

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As I navigate this online dating thing of which I am taking a bit more seriously this time around, I have noticed that standards seem to be expected to be lower in this online world than in real life. I would like to dive into this phenomenon and examine it.







In the real world, just as in the online world, looks are usually the first attractant. So, it only makes sense that photos are front and center. However, I have noticed that folks are not putting their best selves forward or at all. A picture of you half naked, with another lady friend, with your fish, in your Halloween costume or of a funny meme is just not going to cut it. Those may work for a small percentage of the population, but in real life I would see the real you unless I met you on a fishing trip or at a Halloween party. I would definitely not be interested in you while you were hanging out with another lady. I would say to put those fun pictures after the normal one if you really want to show different sides of your personality. 

Next up, the initial contact. Let’s take what I get from online dating and tell a story as if it is happening in the real world. 

1. Johnny walks by my office every morning and says “Good Morning Beautiful.” I respond back with “Good Morning” but Johnny disappears until the next morning. I feel like I am living in the movie Ground Hog Day. I cannot get it to stop even when I stop responding. 

2. I am sitting at a bar. I lock eyes with this adorable guy. He walks over and says “hey, how are you?” I respond with “I’m well, how are you?” He hands me a piece of paper with his number on it and says “texting is easier.” I look at him and say “let’s just chat here for a while.” He walks away. Two weeks later the same guy comes over and says “hey, how are you?” I just look at him in astonishment and walk away. 

3. I go to the same coffee shop every morning like clockwork. This nice gentleman says “hey, how are you?” every morning. We exchange a few unimportant words. About two weeks later he asks me out on a date. I decline. He gets very upset and says mean things to me because he thought I was interested enough to say hello every day. <- this one probably sounds normal even in the context of a dating site, but how do I even know if I am interested in someone that I only exchange a few meaningless words with, online or otherwise.

I know most women that online date use it to get free dinners, drinks, and compliments. I hear men complain about this all the time. I, however, have very little free time because I live my life to the fullest and I already think I am awesome, so I am not looking for compliments. If I am to rearrange my life a little, I want to make sure I am not wasting my precious time on a failed date.