Maintaining and/or Growing a Friendship on a Budget

One of my goals for 2013 is to maintain and/or grow friendships. I can honestly admit that I am lacking in the know how in this area. So, I got to thinking, how would one do this? I thought about how I have done this in the past. It seemed to me that when I had the best social interactions it involved money. I then thought how could this be? How can friendship cost money? Especially when our average income is down from previous years; but it does not seem to matter. As a society we feel the need to go to restaurants for meals, go to or host home sales parties, go to or host game parties that cost money, be a part of an organization that costs money. It is not just adults that feel this way either. Children are the same.

I remember when I was a child, I forged friendships while playing outside in the neighborhood or at the park. I attended birthday parties that consisted of cake and a home made game of pin-the-tail on the donkey. If we were lucky we had pizza. I have tried to have these types of parties for my children and no one attends, but throw a party at a roller rink, amusement park, or sales business and you will max out in participation. I also fork over money to organizations, sports associations, and dance studios so my children can get some exercise and social skills since all of the other children are at these things instead of playing in the street.

I decided to see how much it cost me when I did these social activities and this is what I came up with:

That is a lot of money. $107 a month and this does not include the activities my children participated in. This has led me to my current search for free or inexpensive ways to have friendships or social interaction. It is an important part of life and I have decided to not let the economic stagnation and/or decline affect it.

I reviewed some blogs that made suggestions on how to maintain friendships in general. Gretchen Rubin started what she calls a "Happiness Project" that as a part of it she suggests ways to maintain friendships. I found these 8 items to be rather useful. Dummies.com also had some useful information. I strongly identified with the debt princess's article about losing friendships when times got tough for her. In contrast I wanted my article to focus on actual activities one could do to maintain or grow friendships without spending a lot of money or how about any money at all. :D

Game Night. You can do this with families or not. It could be a pot luck or just have a few snacks available.

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Movie or TV Show night. This can also be with families or not. The home DVR which quite a few of us have can make this even easier since you do not have to ask friends to come over on a Tuesday, instead record the show and have them over on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon or evening. I used to watch a favorite show with some neighbors (and even my deployed husband would watch over webcam sometimes). It was a blast. We played a game during commercials and had wine or drinks if we could afford them.

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Potluck, BBQs, Brunches, Lunches or Dinners. This can be inexpensive and seems to be a favorite for most.

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Start a Group. A book club, play group, scrapbooking group etc. can be inexpensive especially when you can borrow a book from a library, use toys or supplies you already have and are not charging monthly dues.

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Go to a Free Outdoor Location. I am lucky to live in Florida where the weather is beautiful most of the time. I enjoy going to the park and beach. All I have to do to make it a group activity is invite some people.

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Long distance friendships are a little tougher to me. Number 5 on Gretchen Rubins list made me feel a little more at ease with this. My long distance friendships are those kinds that I can go years without talking to someone, but call them up when I am in town or out of the blue and we pick up like we just spoke yesterday. Social Media has helped with long distance friendships in my opinion, but cannot replace a good ol' fashioned phone call or meet up. Here are a few ideas for long distance friendships:

Phone Calls. Calling a friend once a week, once a month, once a year or whenever can lift the spirits.

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Letters. With the invention of email, letters have pretty much become non-existent, but wouldn't it be nice to get something other than bills in the mail.

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Skype, Google Plus, Yahoo Messenger etc. There are video conferencing opportunities everywhere now. So not only can you talk to your friend but you can see her new hair cut or her little one playing with blocks in the background. How awesome is that?!

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Social Media like Facebook. Social media is great for quick little updates, but does not provide the intimate details (usually) that you would get from a letter or formal conversation.

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I have decided to try all of these. Most of them seem pretty simple. I think I will look for a pen-pal first. That one seems the most interesting and uncommon. Here's to great friendships in 2013!!!